It's like that passage in Matthew 7, where one's flaws or sins are compared to specks of sawdust in the eyes blurring our vision (or as big as planks, completely blinding us). I'm not sure whether I have multiple different specks of sawdust, or if they are all actually part of the same plank of wood, but it feels like God is drawing each of them out one after the other. Or sometimes I find myself relating to what it must feel like for a piece of metal to be heated up so that all the dross and impurities rise to the surface and are sifted out. Both processes are rather painful, I imagine.
Sometimes I see it too as God taking a hold of my heart and pulling out all the weeds that have cropped up in it. I did a lot of weeding the past couple of days, so maybe that's why that imagery comes readily to mind. While I have been spending time growing and investing in the various fruits of the Spirit, in amongst that growth some weeds have snuck in.
So it's difficult to know how to respond when friends ask me how it's going here in New Zealand. Because I really am loving being back, seeing friends from church and getting to know and spend time with the students and staff. I love the memories I am making here, the new running routes and beach getaways. But it is much more difficult this time around; strangely, in a good way.
If I could show you in pictures what God is doing in me currently, I would. But for now, these words will have to do
...or I'll try to show you through a picture anyway